Full Answer
Are You feeding your submissive in your relationship?
When one or both of the parties is only feeding from the other and not providing any nourishment to their partner, the relationship will begin to grow weak and eventually succumb. In the beginning of your D/s relationship feeding your submissive may feel as though it requires a lot of effort on your part.
What is the most important thing in a submissive relationship?
This is by far the most important thing. The submissive must trust that their mental, emotional, and physical health are their Dominant’s priority. The Dominant must trust that their submissive is being honest about limits and that they are communicating with the truth about their experiences, history, etc.
What makes a submissive a good servant?
• that they take excellent care of their own body (which, as my slave, also means taking care of MY property…) • and more. Outside of these de facto items, service often comes down to the talents and skills of the submissive. I have had subs who absolutely had a “green thumb” and so they tended to my flower garden.
How does a dominant test a submissive's willpower?
Many times, a Dominant will use small tasks to test a submissive’s willingness and ability to obey. When the Dominant sees how the submissive responds to these tasks, they have a better idea of whether they want to continue the relationship and/or how much training the submissive will require.
How does a good dom help a submissive?
A good Dom will help teach the submissive how to push their limits. They are training the sub to be the best sub that they can be for them.
Why is submissive lifestyle important?
Part of the draw of the lifestyle as a submissive is to relinquish control to someone else so that they can help you be the best version of yourself. It’s not all about pleasure, well, that’s relative. There is pleasure in having someone take charge of parts of your life.
How can the Dom punish the submissive?
Really, it’s for the submissive’s own good. One way that the Dom can punish the sub would be to use reflective listening. Reflective listening is when the rule is repeated, first by the Dom and then by the sub in their own words. This is so the Dominant can ensure that the submissive understands what the rule is.
What does it mean when a submissive complies with the rules?
When the submissive complies with the rules, the Dominant feels proud that he is able to have been given the gift of submission. The Dominant then feels accepted, desired, and confident like the Master they are.
Why is punishment part of the BDSM?
There are lots of reasons why punishment is part of the BDSM lifestyle. More often than not, punishment is used to train the submissive and correct behaviors to help the submissive become the best version of themselves . One of the key components of this lifestyle is the rules.
Why do submissives sit in the corner of the room?
It helps commit the idea to memory. Sitting in a corner- Submissive sits in the corner of the room to have quiet reflection on the rule breaking. This should not be for an undetermined amount of time. Dominants should be careful to tow the line between correction and abuse.
What punishments can a dominant person use?
Spanking. Orgasm Denial. Silent treatment. All are forms of punishment that a Dominant can use to punish their submissive. Some people like the idea of punishments. In fact, that may be their biggest attraction to the BDSM way of life. But it’s not the main draw.
Most women are submissive
It helps to understand the reality that many women are submissive. By definition, a submissive woman is a woman who willingly obeys a dominant man in her lifestyle, choices, and conduct. There are varying degrees to which a woman will be submissive to you but, by and large, most women fit this role.
You must be proactive and assertive
Submissive women tend to be more reserved, taking coaxing to make her feel comfortable and open to approaching. In other words, she’ll never come to you - you need to take on all the heavy lifting and risk.
Look in the quiet places
People gravitate to places that reflect their personality and their willingness to be approached. The following is a short list of places where you can find submissive women:
Coffee shops
Women drink almost the same amount of coffee and tea as men, so coffee and tea shops are a great way to meet submissive women that are looking for a little energy boost throughout their day.
Make friends with women
Women know other women. And women tend to know which type of men they prefer. By having a roster of female friends and acquaintances, you gain an advantage on finding a submissive woman.
Dating apps
It makes sense that women that are shy or uncomfortable with conventional dating have turned to dating apps to make the process of finding a dominant man easier. By finding a woman who openly states that she is a submissive or deducing from her profile, you can begin texting her and know for sure.
Understanding your role as a dominant male
Part of dominance isn’t just being an assertive and disagreeable person. Instead, you’re a protector and a provider. In exchange for your protection and provisioning, she feels safe and taken care of, which alleviates typical anxieties that women are inundated with.
What to do if your sub does something they're not supposed to?
If your sub does something they’re not supposed to, have them write out what they did a hundred times as punishment.
How to get your sub to rest your feet?
Tell your sub to get on all fours and act as a stool for you to rest your feet. Dive into a good book and force them to stay still until you’re good and ready to let them get up.
What to do if your sub breaks the rules?
If your sub breaks the rules, write what they did wrong on their body in permanent marker. Make them wear it around all day so they don’t forget how naughty they were.
How to make your partner beg for a taste?
"Come within a few inches of their mouth, watch their tongue slip out and get just close enough but not quite there. Make your body their prize and make the longing for it the punishment.”
What is the importance of BDSM?
IMPORTANT: Before you engage in any BDSM punishments, you and your partner must thoroughly discuss your boundaries and limits beforehand. Despite the connotation of punishing someone, the activity still requires enthusiastic consent from all parties; the punished wants to be punished, and the punisher wants to punish.
Common misconception about being submissive in a relationship
Before we talk about how to be submissive in a relationship, we need to know the most common misconceptions regarding this topic.
Submission and love
We are aiming for submission in a healthy relationship. Like any other rules in a relationship, love and submission should be mutual and should both exist.
20 Ways on how to be submissive in a relationship
Now that we understand the real meaning of submission, we need to know how to be submissive in a relationship.
What does it mean to feel submissive?
What does it really mean to feel submissive? Hmm, let’s take a look! APA Dictionary describes submissiveness as: “n. a tendency to comply with the wishes or obey the orders of others.” Basically, their wish is your command!
What to do when you don't have anyone?
If you don’t have anyone who can be there for you right now, that’s okay. You can be there for yourself! Think about how you would want a loved one to comfort you in this moment. Give yourself a pat on the back, write a list of the things you like about yourself, or go for a drive to think. Think of the reasons you might be feeling submissive, and encourage yourself to break free of those negative thoughts . You deserve to be happy!
What do you expect from a slave?
There are certainly things that are “de facto” which I would expect from any slave….#N#• that they present themselves well and maintain good grooming#N#• that they adhere to the protocols & etiquette they have been taught#N#• that they take excellent care of their own body (which, as my slave, also means taking care of MY property…)#N#• that they are truthful#N#• that they are attentive when I need them to be so#N#• quite often, and especially if they live with me, a wide variety of secretarial / office / personal assistant skills#N#• and more.
Did slaves massage?
Some slaves were pretty good at massage, others were trained to be better, and some just really lacked the talent or lacked arm & hand strength. The flip side was how sometimes the reverse is true and must be taken into account. The chef was a horrible driver so I did all the driving when with her.
Is lacking skills a hard limit for a dom?
When this happens it is by far best for the Dom to respect that said course of training has effectively reached its natural peak, and for the couple to move on to cultivate other skills (given that said lacking-skill is not a Hard Limit / requirement for the Dom).
Power Play
Contracts
- BDSM contractsare a pretty important part of the relationship. Both parties need to bring something to the relationship to make their counterpart the best version of themselves. The contract outlines what the Dominant/submissive will be responsible for. They are meant to protect both people from hurt feelings and unrealistic expectations. They can include anything you want…
Discipline
- Like I said earlier, discipline and punishment are two totally different things, but they are related. A good Dom will help teach the submissive how to push their limits. They are training the sub to be the best sub that they can be for them. During the early courtship, the Dominant will try and build the submissive’s confidence. As a submissive myself, this is crucial to helping me feel comforta…
Punishments
- Punishments are the other side of the coin. You’ve agreed to terms. But say you are feeling slightly bratty or maybe you forget (as a sub) what you have agreed to. There are consequences for these behaviors. Maybe it’s early in the relationship and you are given a task. As a sub, your Dom may require proof that you have completed the task when you are out of his presence. Failure to com…
Rewards
- What if you want to try and avoid the rule breaking and consequences all together? For me, punishment creates fear. The last thing that I want to do is have fear of my Dominant. Sometimes punishments are necessary, but you don’t have to always use that as your go-to. Rewards can go a long way to getting the submissive to stay in line. At least it works for me. One way that you can …
Conclusion
- A submissive naturally wants to please their Dominant. It’s who we are at our core. We want to make others happy. It is what we need to feel whole. But it has to be with a Dom that won’t abuse their power. A Dom that will want to nurture our need to please; knowing that if they know how to exercise their control correctly, they will be given the most precious gift they can be given. They …